This web site is © copyright 2000 and for the rest of eternity by Ian and/or Jamie Clarke, who bear no responsibility whatsoever for the functionality, merchantability or any other aspect of its layout, format or contents. In fact, about the only thing it's good for is whiling away an idle moment when it's bucketing down with rain outside.

The views expressed in ClarkeFest.com are those of no one in particular, least of all its owners. Attendance at ClarkeFest, while not mandatory, is most highly recommended, but only if we've invited you or one of your close friends or relatives.

Se reserva el derecho de admision, which means we'll haul your arse out if we don't want you there. We also reserve to right to halt your egress if we feel that you might constitute a danger to yourself or anyone else on the way home. That includes the right to forcibly pin you down, remove your keys and offer you sleeping accommodations for the night. Note we didn't say a bed...!

It is a federal offense to drive with this web site in an open web browser. Feel free to lift anything you want from the site, especially if you expect to make a profit from it. Just send us a check for 10% of the proceeds, and we'll turn a blind eye to your blatant attempts at plagiarism. What could be more fair than that?